Why This Matters
1. Endings are not natural
In Ecclesiastes 3:11, we are told that God has “set eternity in the human heart.”
We are wired for things to continue—not to end. Because of that, endings can feel disorienting, even unsettling.
In many ways, endings feel like small deaths. They can stir grief, regret, fear, or a quiet sense of loss we can’t fully name. Whether it’s:
- finishing a meaningful project
- leaving a job
- graduating
- or saying goodbye to people who matter
…endings often leave us feeling:
- sad
- disoriented
- incomplete
- adrift
This is true even when the experience has been good.
Without intentionality, most of us move past endings too quickly—or avoid them altogether.
2. Endings are vulnerable to sabotage
In John 10:10, Jesus says:
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…”
And in 1 Peter 5:8:
“Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
Endings are often a place where discouragement and distortion get loud.
You or your group members may notice thoughts like:
- “I didn’t really make use of this group.”
- “I didn’t matter here.”
- “I was too much… or not enough.”
- “This didn’t really change anything.”
- “I’ll just end up alone again.”
These thoughts are not neutral.
They are invitations to minimize, dismiss, or
disconnect from what God has done.
We believe God desires to protect and deepen the
work that has taken place this year.
Ending well helps guard against sabotage and allows transformation to
take root.
3. God deserves to be honored
The Westminster Shorter Catechism reminds us:
“The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”
But what goes unnamed is often forgotten.
If we do not pause to reflect on:
- how God has been at work
- what has changed
- how people have impacted one another
…we miss an opportunity to give Him glory.
Ending well creates space to say:
- “This is where I saw God in you.”
- “This is what mattered.”
- “This is what I’m carrying forward.”
Naming these things helps anchor them in memory and identity.
4. We need blessing in closure
In Joshua 4:21–24, God’s people set up stones as a memorial.
Not because the moment wasn’t significant, but because they would forget.
These markers helped future generations ask:
“What happened here?”
Ending well is about creating a kind of marker that says:
- God was here
- This mattered
- Something changed
As each person continues on their journey, there will be moments when they forget what is true.
This experience gives them something to return to: words, images, or objects that remind them:
- who they are
- how they’ve grown
- how they’ve been seen
What Ending Well Is NOT
Ending well is not avoiding the reality that something meaningful is coming to a close.
Avoidance can look like:
Minimizing the ending
- “We’ll all stay in touch anyway…” (while ignoring that this specific group is ending)
Staying vague or rushed
- “This was great. Thanks everyone. Hope to see you next August.”
Staying superficial
- Offering generic encouragement without personal reflection
Disappearing
- Avoiding closure because it feels awkward or emotional
These responses are understandable, but they often prevent people from fully receiving, or remembering, what mattered.
What Ending Well IS
How to Prepare as a Leader & Prepare Your Group
Take time to intentionally reflect on each person in your group. Ask:
- What have I seen in each member?
- Where has each grown?
- How has God been at work in their story?
Then choose a simple way to express that. This could be:
- a word
- a sentence or two
- a Scripture
- an image or symbol
- a small object
There is freedom here. What matters is that it is intentional, personal, and tangible.
Examples:
- A verse that captures their journey
- An image that reflects their strength or growth
- A symbol that represents their story
(And yes, even something creative or unexpected can be meaningful.)
Setting Your Group Up for Success
- Introduce the “Ending Well” process one meeting before your final gathering
- Give group members time to prepare something for one another
- Set expectations that the final meeting will be more reflective and intentional
Here are the brief instructions from the DNA 2025–2026 spiral notebook to guide this process: ### On your second to last meeting:
1) Consider: How do we respond when groups end? (read this together)
- One way to avoid endings is by minimizing the change and focusing instead on how we will keep in touch. Another way is staying ambiguous, for example, “This was great. Thanks so much everyone. We start back in August. See you then.”
- Other ways that avoid endings are by disappearing (What ending?) or sabotaging (this group didn’t matter that much, I never mattered to anyone that much, this wasn’t that great of an experience, whatever).
- Lastly, some people end with an expectational demand, a tendency to demand more than is possible.
2) Briefly share: How have you usually dealt with endings?
What might it mean to grieve without demand? What would it look like instead to honor and bless one another with specificity? Could you let people in your group delight and honor you? Could you offer a word of blessing to others?
3) Prepare a blessing:
During the week, write something for your own, individual experience of this group and write something to each person in the group. For your own experience, how has being in this group impacted/shaped you? How has God been at work in you through your participation in this DNA group? For each person in the group, offer a blessing; for example, write a word that describes the person and how you have seen that in the group, share a Bible verse that brings that person to mind and explain why, make personal comments with specific examples, or consider any creative touch that works for you. ### For your final group meeting:
Read your blessing:
Plan for each member of the group to have focused time.
- Each person in the group offers a blessing to him/her.
- Then that person shares his/her personal comments about the group with the group.
- Then move to the next person.
Final Encouragement
Ending well doesn’t require perfection.
But it does require presence and intention.
As a leader, you are helping your group:
- recognize what God has done
- receive it more fully
- carry it forward
That is meaningful work.
And it is worth doing well.